its lesteerr. !

This whole week we have NOT talked. No text messages, no phone calls, nothing. And you tell me that you try to get in touch with me but you didn’t even come close of getting at me. Theres only one explanation , you simply didn’t TRY hard enough…and I guess I should be used it by now because that’s how you’ve always been. But to me, no communication with you for like a day, is torture, to me, but for you I guess it’s normal. To me, if you don’t tell me you miss me back after I tell you I miss you…words can’t even begin to describe it…but I guess its normal for you. Just let me know if you want to break up with me already because it already feels like were not even together anymore and it seems that you don’t want to be a thing anymore. And I regret turning my Facebook on to talk to YOUR little brother and ask him to give the phone to his sister so I can talk to her. You know why I regret it? I was dissapointed, I expected way more than what you gave me. And I probably expected too much from you but I think I deserve that much or even more. And at this point, it seems like everything I’ve done meant nothing. Don’t keep me guessing, if you can’t handle a relationship come break up with me. I try to talk to you about it, I try to solve things but like I said “you can’t fix what doesn’t what doesn’t want fixing.” You also said you’re busy with homework though I see you liking people status’s on Facebook. Am I really that worthless to you? You don’t have a spare second to text, call, message me saying “you miss me”? Yet you have time to read and like other peoples status’s. You have time for other people but not for me, your boyfriend…when you said yes, when I asked you out, you basically said yes, I’m ready for a commitment/responsibility and I expected that you were. But what you’re showing me now, you’re not being responsible for being the second party of this relationship. I DONT NEED THIS RIGHT NOW. I’ve got more important to focus on like coming to the end of my last year in high school. My parents. My friends. I choose them because I’m the type of person to stay committed as long as you stay, they’re more commutes than what you’re showing. I can’t even sleep properly anymore…always waking up the middle of the night checking my phone, looking if I got anything from you but today, this morning, it feels different. As I think of that phone call last night and how no effort was put in it, I can’t help but think where did I, me, go wrong? But I realize its you this time. You’re the one that’s pushing me away, you’re the one that isn’t trying as hard as you’re suppose to be, its you. All this time I’ve blamed myself but now I realize it, its you, it’s always been you. Like I said, just say the words and ill dissapear from your life and let you live it as stress free as possible. Just say the words, it’ll make us both happy. This is NOT a relationship. If you want me to stay, make it be then. Simple as that.

I realize that I’m clingy. I always feel the need to be cared for. I guess it has its downsides, being too clingy or too attached just becomes stressful. I am stressed, I’ve always been stressed. I try not to be clingy or attached but its impossible for me to, reason being, I am who I am. You should know that by now.  Though, don’t get me wrong, there are times where I really want to text you or call you but I restrain myself because I don’t want to come off as a clingy person. I guess its better not to get too attached to the point where, when that certain person doesn’t talk to you nor they make it seem that they’ve forgotten you, you feel dead. Especially when you really have these gigantic feelings for them. ALSO I want you to realize that you miss and that you need to text/call me. I don’t like other people telling you to do these things when I don’t even come to mind. Realize it on your own. I guess you’ve realized that, I’m not worth your time. Put yourself in my shoes, see how you would feel. How would you feel if the person you desired just stops talking to you when your’e so used to talking to them? How would you feel if the person you liked, doesn’t miss you as much as you miss them? How would you feel if the person you admire doesn’t admire you back? You feel worthless. Clingy-ness, I have that disease.